I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jeannette McCurdy

Overview

Written by Jennette McCurdy, this memoir tells the story of her life as a child actress and her complicated relationship with her abusive, controlling mother.

From a young age, McCurdy is pushed into acting by her mother, who is obsessed with fame and exerts extreme control over her life—everything from food (leading to eating disorders) to personal choices. Despite achieving success on shows like iCarly, she struggles with anxiety, identity, and lack of independence.

After her mother’s death, McCurdy begins to confront the trauma she endured. Through therapy and self-reflection, she starts healing, finding her own voice, and redefining her life outside of acting.

Quotes

“I don’t like knowing people in the context of things. "Oh, that’s the person I work out with. That’s the person I’m in a book club with. That’s the person I did that show with." Because once the context ends, so does the friendship” ― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“I yearn to know the people I love deeply and intimately—without context, without boxes—and I yearn for them to know me that way, too.” ― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“I take a longer look at the words on her headstone. Brave, kind, loyal, sweet, loving, graceful, strong, thoughtful, funny, genuine, hopeful, playful, insightful, and on and on… Was she, though? Was she any of those things? The words make me angry. I can’t look at them any longer. Why do we romanticize the dead? Why can’t we be honest about them?”

“I feel like the world is divided into two types of people: people who know loss and people who don't.” ― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“The problem with this is that if we beat ourselves up after a mistake, we add shame onto the guilt and frustration that we already feel about our mistake. That guilt and frustration can be helpful in moving us forward, but shame...shame keeps us stuck. It's a paralyzing emotion. When we get caught in a shame spiral, we tend to make more of the same kinds of mistakes that caused us shame in the first place".” ― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“Through writing, I feel power for maybe the first time in my life. I don’t have to say somebody else’s words. I can write my own. I can be myself for once. I like the privacy of it. Nobody’s watching. Nobody’s judging. Nobody’s weighing in. No casting directors or agents or managers or directors or Mom. Just me and the page. Writing is the opposite of performing to me. Performing feels inherently fake. Writing feels inherently real.”