How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.

dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity. Yellow highlight | Page: 16Options Principle 1 Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

“I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people,” said Schwab, “the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.

Principle 2 Give honest and sincere appreciation.

“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”

Principle 3 Arouse in the other person an eager want.

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Principle 1 Become genuinely interested in other people.

Principle 2 Smile.

Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Principle 4 Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Principle 5 Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

Principle 6 Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.

Principle 1 The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

Principle 2 Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”

Principle 3 If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

Principle 4 Begin in a friendly way.

Principle 5 Get the other person saying, “yes, yes” immediately.

Principle 6 Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

Principle 7 Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

Principle 8 Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Principle 9 Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

Principle 10 Appeal to the nobler motives.

Principle 12 Throw down a challenge.

Principle 1 Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

Principle 2 Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

Principle 4 Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

In the early nineteenth century, a young man in London aspired to be a writer. But everything seemed to be against him. He had never been able to attend school more than four years. His father had been flung in jail because he couldn’t pay his debts, and this young man often knew the pangs of hunger. Finally, he got a job pasting labels on bottles of blacking in a rat-infested warehouse, and he slept at night in a dismal attic room with two other boys—guttersnipes from the slums of London. He had so little confidence in his ability to write that he sneaked out and mailed his first manuscript in the dead of night so nobody would laugh at him. Story after story was refused. Finally the great day came when one was accepted. True, he wasn’t paid a shilling for it, but one editor had praised him. One editor had given him recognition. He was so thrilled that he wandered aimlessly around the streets with tears rolling down his cheeks. The praise, the recognition that he received through getting one story in print, changed his whole life, for if it hadn’t been for that encouragement, he might have spent his entire life working in rat-infested factories. You may have heard of that boy. His name was Charles Dickens.

Principle 6 Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”

Principle 7 Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.